Clergy, photographers, caterers, and florists all have one. We all have at least one wedding horror story. So far my stories are pretty tame – no “bride-zillas” or “monster-in-laws”. Years ago, I met a photographer whose story still takes the wedding cake. He was photographing a big, very expensive wedding. The entire wedding party had processed and the bride and groom stood in front of the priest prepared to make their vows. Then the priest asked the bride, “Will you have this man to be your husband; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?” The bride stood silent for a moment then looked at her fiancé and then back at the priest and said, “I can’t do that.” And walked out of the church.

While I am sure her fiancé and family would have preferred her to “get it” long before she walked down the aisle. At least she did come to comprehend the holiness of marriage. Contrast that to a conversation I heard once riding the train.

Four young women were seated directly in front of me. One had become engaged over the weekend and the other three were oohing and ahhing over her engagement ring. There was a lot of giggling and questions about how he asked and what she said, but then there was this odd silence. Finally, one of the young ladies said, “I didn’t think you really liked this guy.” The bride-to-be replied, “Oh, he’s OK. He’s got a great job and his parents are putting a down payment on a house for us. It will be a good starter marriage.” This young woman did not “get it”; she was trifling with the holiness of marriage.

In our Gospel lesson for today, the Pharisees are trifling with the holiness of marriage. In Mark’s telling of Jesus’ story, this is yet another attempt by the Pharisees to trick Jesus. Over and over again Mark presents the religious authorities as trying to trap Jesus by asking him a question that they believe has no good answer. As is the case with the question that the Pharisees asked Jesus about divorce, Jesus was often asked questions that reflected ongoing controversies among competing Jewish factions or schools of rabbinic teaching, so any answer was bound to offend someone!

All of the Jewish laws around marriage and divorce were designed to support one thing – the procreation of children. If the descendents of Abraham were to be as numerous as the stars, babies had to be born. Thus Jewish men were permitted to take more than one wife. Men were also permitted to divorce their wives. A woman’s inability to conceive and bear children was the most common justification for divorce in the ancient world.

I find it striking that the Pharisees’ question to Jesus assumes the marriage’s dissolution rather than the marriage’s divine integrity. Jesus turns their question on divorce into teaching on marriage and on God’s intention in creation for the relationship between a man and a woman. God intended the union of a man and a woman to be one of heart, mind and body such that the two would become one flesh.

I have to admit that I fretted over this sermon. This Gospel lesson is what clergy people refer to as a difficult text. Biblical texts like this leave the preacher feeling trapped; no matter what we say, we are bound to touch a nerve. There is no way to soften Jesus’ teaching; his words are hard. I am sure Jesus would acknowledge that there are worse things that can happen in a marriage than divorce. I don’t think we would find Jesus counseling someone to remain in an abusive relationship or in a marriage that is irrevocably unhappy. Yet as we have heard; Jesus does not let us off the hook on divorce and remarriage. Jesus insists on holding humankind accountable to God’s intentions for creation. Although divorce is permissible – divorce is not a part of God’s plan. The holiness of marriage is not to be trifled with.

Here Jesus makes an example of marriage, but I think if we could ask Jesus, he would have equally strong words for the other sacred relationships of human existence. Imagine what Jesus would have to say about child abuse and neglect. Jesus would not condone kicking a cat or whipping a horse. I think Jesus would weep at seeing the ways humankind has defiled creation. God intended for us to be stewards of creation and each other. Stewardship implies a respect for the sacredness of all of creation. Divorce is not the only way we trifle with the holiness of God’s intentions for creation.

While Jesus’ teaching on marriage is hard, New Testament Scholar Ched Meyers cautions us not to make more of Jesus’ words than what was written. Jesus answered a specific question at a specific time and place in history. Jesus spoke out of a respect for the deep bond of marriage and possibly with sensitivity to the great pain caused by divorce. Yet Jesus was not attempting establish a new law. Also, this teaching should not be used to speak regarding questions to which the teaching was not addressed – for example, questions related to gay and lesbian relationships. “To take Jesus’ words in this text and use them to label such relationships as sinful would be inappropriate.”

The writer of Mark’s Gospel often places seemingly unrelated stories next to each other. Mark sandwiches stories together so that they inform and comment on each other. Immediately after Jesus befuddles the Pharisees, we find people bringing their children to Jesus so that he might bless them. In Jesus’ day, children were the least valued and most vulnerable members of society. Yet Jesus welcomed children, blessed them and offered them as models for receiving God’s kingdom. One does not enter the kingdom through the fulfillment religious rules and regulations, including those related to divorce and remarriage. Jesus reminds all who will listen that one enters God’s kingdom only by completely depending on God, as little children are completely dependent on the adults in their lives.

In God’s plan for creation, our relationships are to be sacramental. Our relationships are to reveal something of the divine. The way we treat each other and all of creation should manifest God’s love for us. In the Episcopal Church, a wedding begins with the opening exhortation and these well known words, “Dearly beloved: We have come together in the presence of God…” The exhortation is intended of as a reminder that God desires marriage to be a sacred union. The exhortation concludes with these often neglected words, “Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God.” Imagine what the world could be like if we applied that charge to all of our relationships. The holiness of relationship is not to be trifled with.
____________________________________________________
James J. Thompson, “Theological Perspective: Mark 10:2-16”, Feasting on the Word: Preaching the Revised Common Lectionary, Year B Volume 4, (Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox, 2009), 140.
Ched Meyers, Binding the Strong Man: A Political Reading of Mark’s Story of Jesus, (Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books, 1988).
Charles L. Campbell, “Homiletical Perspective: Mark 10:2-16”, Feasting on the Word: Preaching the Revised Common Lectionary, Year B Volume 4, (Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox, 2009), 145.
BCP, 423.